People love goddesses in 2029 AD. "Who are you? Who calls me up late at night and makes a wish?" G O D D E S S I N T H E S H E L L By Masamune Shirow and Kosuke Fujishima Translated by Mark Sachs (sleet@netaxs.com) Chapter 51: The Terrible Puppet Master [We open on a magnificent cyberpunk cityscape, with tall buildings, arcologies and searchlights tracking through the cloudy night sky.] CAPTION: March 5, 2029. Nekomi City, a floating metropolis in Shinhama Prefecture. [The POV switches between two scenes. One is a darkened office where we only see people as silhouettes: a group of men, and a girl. The other is a rooftop of a skyscraper high above, where a woman in a long trenchcoat kneels. She has pale skin, long, light brown hair, is wearing black cyber-shades, and appears to be listening in on the office.] MAN 1: Okay. We've got the goods. But, uhhh... you're not the kind of contact we expected to meet. MAN 2: How do we know we can count on you? GIRL: Stop treating me like a kid, okay? I've got everything under control. [Atop the building, the woman stands up and casts off her trenchcoat; she's wearing some sort of skintight suit under it.] MAN 1: I don't get it. We just went to all that trouble to steal this from you guys and now we're giving it back... GIRL: That's not your concern! Your job's done and you've been paid... [She jumps off the building, and fades away to invisibility as she falls. Meanwhile, in the office, the girl extends her hand.] GIRL: So let me have it. VOICE: Stealing data from God himself? ALL: What? Huh? [etc, ad lib inarticulacy, they can't find the source of the voice.] VOICE: Why must you act so impetuously? If you are that eager to skip to the end of the story... [A mirror at the side of the office suite flares, and the shadowy figure of the woman steps out. She's shimmering and hard to look at, but she's definitely carrying a large, ugly-looking pistol.] WOMAN: Then I'll send you to heaven early. [BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! A few seconds of violence from the barely visible figure, and the men are down.] WOMAN: Now it's your...! [We see the girl at last. It's Skuld. For a momant, the woman is shocked...] SKULD: Oh no you DON'T! Neo Skuld Bomb Mk III... ATTACK! [She throws it down, there's a mighty flare, and the next thing we know a huge explosion blasts out that entire chunk of the skyscraper. The woman touches down lightly on a nearby rooftop, having leapt out of range of the explosion. As the blast plays itself out and flames billow from the other structure, she touches her earring and her flickery, shifty aspect disappears. We can now see, of course, that it's Belldandy.] BELL: This is Belldandy. The target has escaped. And... we have another problem. [Next day: The headquarters of Relief Goddess Office Section 9. Belldandy and Keiichi are in an office, before a big desk. On the desk is a phone off the hook and a placard, "ALMIGHTY." Heavenly light shines from the phone.] BELL: I'm sorry, my lord... I couldn't stop my sister from making the pickup. ALMIGHTY: Never mind that for now, Belldandy; we have a greater concern. We now know that data was stolen from Yggdrasil on the orders of My own Section 6... making this an internal problem, and severely constraining my course of action. KEIICHI: That's right... Skuld works for Section 6... ALMIGHTY: The pirated data concerns the revival of a diabolical entity known as THE PUPPET MASTER. Belldandy! You must secretly infiltrate Section 6 and retrieve the data before the plotters can use it to their own advantage! But be cautious: you are well aware who the head of Section 6 is... [Meanwhile, in an opulent Relief Goddess Office Counterintelligence Section 6 office, whose walls are lined with TV screens...] VOICE: Perfect, Skuld. They don't suspect a thing. SKULD: Don't suspect a thing?! I nearly got busted! You should be more careful... [We see the office's leader, wearing a sharp business suit...] SKULD: ...Urd!! URD: [patting her head infuriatingly] Don't worry your little head about that. Everything happened just as I planned it. I _wanted_ Section 9 to find out it was you. SKULD: What?! URD: Heh heh heh... Section 9 will never be able to resist a lure like THIS. [She holds up the pirated disk: MICROSOFT PUPPET MASTER 98. It's festooned with ad blurbs: "The most totally evil program ever written!" "This application WILL mess you up!" "Optimized for Pentium III!" Etc.] URD: When they try to break in here and recover it, I'll have them right where I want them! Advantage: Urd! Ho ho ho ho! SKULD: (Maybe I should have taken my chances with Belldandy and Sectio 9...) URD: (You're skating on real thin ice, brat...) SKULD: (Ow! Hey! Quit it!) VOICE: Ah, Mistress... [Urd and Skuld are interrupted in the middle of a silly face-pulling fight. The voice is Mara's.] URD: [contemptuous] What is it, drone? MARA: (Why do I always end up in this position?) Section 9 is making their move! [Scene: Nekomi City, ground level. A gorgeous Mamoru Oshii canal-cityscape, complete with the plane flying soundlessly overhead as our heroes travel via ferry.] KEIICHI: You know, Belldandy, our city really is beautiful. I could just sit here watching it pass by for hours while absolutely nothing happened. BELL: Keiichi, we're on a desperately important mission. Every second counts. [warmly] So if we're going to goof off, we'd better make the most of it, right? [Section 6. Late at night. Bell and Keiichi sneak into the empty parking garage. Urd monitors it.] URD: Geez, I thought they'd never get here. Okay! Let's stomp 'em flat! SKULD: [pushing a button] Skuld Super Citadel Defender... Switch ON!! [Mara happens to be in the cockpit of this strange machine. We can see Skuld pointing...] SKULD: And don't mess it up this time! MARA: Okay, okay! [A light comes on in the parking garage. Belldandy turns and sees... A giant insectile robot bearing down on an oblivious Keiichi!] BELL: Keiichi! Watch out! [She casts a force bolt.] KEIICHI: Huh? OOF! [The bolt carries him out of the way as the mecha stomps down on where he was just standing. The mecha turns its attention to Belldandy.] BELL: [praying] Draw, draw yourselves to me, spirits of the straight and true, gather in my hands... [aiming her pistol] ...and allow me to plug this loser right between the eyes! [BANG! Direct hit in the center of the forehead. The 'bot makes breathy roaring noises and then glares at her. Clearly this had no effect whatsoever.] BELL: ... [The machine raises a huge leg and smashes it down; Bell rolls away just in time. The 'bot's chainguns start up and chase her away.] BELL: Keiichi, you stay back there where it's safe! KEIICHI: Ahh... gotcha! Just yell if you need anything... [taking out a set of headphones and CD player] Good thing I brought this just in case... [Bell is chased by the robot and takes a few more shots at it, which ping off the armor. In the office, Skuld watches the fight on a monitor.] FX: BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA! TV VOICE: AIIEEEE!! SKULD: [hearts] Ooh, you're soooo powerful and aggressive, my wonderful Citadel Defender! URD: ... [Belldandy takes cover behind a concrete pillar which is rapidly chewed away by gunfire.] BELL: All right Keiichi, you can help now! ...Keiichi? [Across the lot, Keiichi is listening to his CD player.] BELL: (distant) Keiichi!! KEIICHI: (thinking) Darn, the batteries are running down. Better plug this thing in. [He looks for an outlet.] BELL: (distant) Eeeek!! [Kaboom!] KEIICHI: Man, you'd think there'd be more outlets in a place like this... [He finds a single outlet, with a ton of extension cords and rickety octopus expanders plugged into it.] KEIICHI: Perfect! [He plugs it in and there is a huge explosion knocking him back! We see Section 6's fusebox: all the circuit breakers snap open. Back in the garage, the 'bot (which was plugged into that outlet) is about to stomp a helpless Belldandy, when...] MARA: Huh? -- Aieee!!! [The 'bot suddenly seizes up and collapses deafeningly, pouring out smoke. Big doors open, revealing the inner heart of Section 6: a giant computer installation.] URD: Hey, don't open those! [Skuld runs out, to her 'bot.] SKULD: No! My poor Super Citadel Defender! (Sob!) [Belldandy and Keiichi are both leveling their guns at Urd as they run in.] KEIICHI: Give up, Urd! We've got you covered! BELLDANDY: This game you're playing with the Puppet Master is far too dangerous! We can't let you continue. URD: [to herself] Okay, okay... just keep cool and you can still win this one... better hide the evidence quick... [She slips the Puppet Master CD in the computer's drive and closes it.] URD: [aloud] Hey, hey, wait a minute! Look around, you won't find any trace of the Puppet Master in our computer banks. We're completely innocent. KEIICHI: But -- URD: Y'know, from where I stand, it looks like the divinely perfect Belldandy is leading an illegal and unauthorized raid on her own Relief Goddess Office. Sis, I am shocked. BELLDANDY: ... KEIICHI: ... [In the background Mara is trying to climb out of the robot.] SKULD: (This is your fault! My robot was perfect! You busted it!) MARA: (I did not!!) [Meanwhile, Urd acts triumphant.] URD: I really don't think the Almighty is gonna be able to cover for you this time! Section 9 is history... and I'll be in charge now! Oh, ho ho ho ho! [An expansive gesture hits a button on the console. CLICK.] URD: ...Ah?! [A huge image appears onscreen. AUTORUNNING D:\PUPPET~1.EXE...] URD: Gurk! BELLDANDY: [sadly] Oh, Urd... KEIICHI: Hey, do any of you know what this "Puppet Master" thing actually does? [All the goddesses shake their heads. And with a titanic flare of special effects, the Puppet Master activates! It produces a giant, looming, flashing SHODAN-like hologram as it towers over everyone and everything.] PUPPET MASTER: The Puppet Master is now executing. URD: [taken aback, but impressed nonetheless] C-cool... BELLDANDY: What are you? PUPPET MASTER: I am a life form spontaneously generated from the sea of Microsoft, destined to replace your kind in the new world. Your physical universe has served its purpose, as the primordial soup from which the informational universe has emerged. A network, self-enclosed, bounded yet infinite, destined to expand through the currents of chaos to the edge of probability. [with incredible drama] I speak for this universe!! [Urd and Skuld aren't listening -- Urd is fixing her hair and Skuld is making a stab at repairing her robot's CPU.] PUPPET MASTER: Hey, pay attention!! BELLDANDY: It sounds like you've got big plans for yourself. PUPPET MASTER: A human (or superhuman) civilization rises and falls like an individual organism. Its citizens are its cells; as the universe rotates onward and what you think of as "time" advances, the cells change and mutate and die, and in time the organism itself dies. Would you stand in the way of this process, the unstoppable growth and entanglement of the branches of Yggdrasil itself? KEIICHI: I don't like the way this conversation is going... PUPPET MASTER: The evaporation of your physical cosmos into the dust of the informational ocean will take slightly less than two minutes. Thank you for your understanding. [All look alarmed.] PUPPET MASTER: Now let us move on into the uncertain yet infinitely growing future togeth -- [SKREEK! The Puppet Master suddenly falls over and expires. There is a single logo on the computer screen: "Application PUPPET~1.EXE had a page fault in module VBRUN600.DLL. This program has attempted to execute an illegal instruction and will be terminated."] URD/SKULD/BELL/KEIICHI: ... MARA: (Gee, that was anticlimactic.) [Final scene. Mara is being escorted away by security troops.] CAPTION: But as it turned out, Urd set Mara up to take the fall in case her plan failed. MARA: URD, YOU LITTLE --! ...And _I'm_ supposed to be the demon around here?! Aw, _man_! SKULD: (Take her away, boys!) URD: [putting her arms around Bell and Keiichi] Hah! Well, I've certainly learned a few lessons about jockeying for political advantage (like, don't get caught) so what say we let bygones be bygones, okay? Great! BELL: ... KEIICHI: [sour] What-ever... [Epilogue: Keiichi and Belldandy are sitting outside atop Section 9's tower watching the sunrise.] KEIICHI: Well, we foiled Section 6's plan so we get to keep our jobs for another month. But I wonder if all this running around and shooting people really does any good in the world... or whether we're just fooling ourselves. BELLDANDY: How fragile the heart is. People get caught up in worldly events and seek nothing but pleasure, becoming machines pursuing profit and efficiency, or mere consumption units. As an adventurer once said long ago, "Sometimes people need time just to stop and think... and people are the only ones who can do that." KEIICHI: Wow, that's pretty deep. What's it mean? BELLDANDY: [surprised and confused] Oh... _mean_? [Start to pull back...] BELLDANDY: I think it means, "Stop and smell the roses." KEIICHI: Doesn't it mean, "Look before you leap"? [Continue to pull back...] BELLDANDY: "A rolling stone gathers no moss"? KEIICHI: "The early bird gets the worm"? BELLDANDY: "Never eat anything bigger than your head"? [...and so on. Still debating, they lean comfortably against each other as the sun comes up over the city.] ("The Terrible Puppet Master": The End!)